Venting out!

I have never known that i was capable of being irritated. As in BIG time irritated, not the "petty irritated feel" when I'm 1 min late or when my 2-year old daughter gets too makulit to handle. THIS is sooo different that if i soak my whole head in a tub of water it will boil. get it? THAT irritated! Okay, I know that she is selfish. Even when we are little, she's this self-centered, always-me wimp that i need to get along with. For all these years, I thought i have already known how to handle her (with care - I swear!). I have perfectly played the role of Robin to her Batman, or Chloe Sullivan to her Clark Kent, even Willow to her Buffy. I played all these roles perfectly well as she has nobody, while I have my little brothers to grow up with. I have mastered the virtue of patience just being around her. I did this all because I LOVE HER SO MUCH! I never wanted her to feel so alone, as she was the only child and she lives so far. While I have my little brothers and my cousins to play with all day - everyday. I wanted her to know that i can give up everything just to be at her side in every wonderful happenings in her life - and even in her most sorrowful moments.

But when I received a text message from her saying sorry about how she made me feel envious when we were kids, and how she'd thought that she had a more fantabulous childhood than I did. she said how much she loves us but she'd stressed how we have hurt her time and again. ---That text changed everything!At first I ignored the message thinking that it wasn't meant for me. But after a few days she confirmed that it was for me and that she really thinks that she had made me envious before, because she has more material things than me. She really thought of having a more fantabulous childhood just because she gets all the material things she wants. I felt insulted. After all that I did for her, she still thinks I'm Inggitera. Just because she's more materially blessed than me. Well, Okay lang, if that's what she likes to think. i pity her the more, she had this twisted idea that happiness can be achieved by the number of material things she has. That has never been the case for me. We may never be rich like her, I wasn't educated "prima classe", i never had all the things i would have wanted while growing up but I was surrounded by honest to goodness people who LOVES ME A LOT! I am respected by my brothers and my other cousins. They are beside me in every life's battle that i take. It wouldn't matter to them whether i win or fail. They're just there! I feel so blessed that I grew up, bought up with the people I love the most, sharing all that I have with them and just loving them...I really am blessed. Now I'm thinking why must someone feel that i grew up envying her? Actually I dont know! till now i can't understand why she made me say sorry for something that I don't remember of doing or may haven't done?
Why is she like that?

10 things i want to do within the next 10 years

There's a lot of things I wanted to do in life. But I know I can never do it all at the same time, So i came up with the list of just 10 things i want to do within the next 10 years. Mostly maybe petty, some maybe impossible but hey - still promises fun, fulfillment and excitement. My list as follows:

1. Sky Diving - coz, hey i wanted to know how it feels like to soar the skies.
2. By a Pajero and Volkswagen Beetle
3. To have my own little "country" house.
4. To pursue the house the me & my siblings dreamed of. (4 houses - 1 for each of us with an adjoining backyard (with pool) w/c is really conducive for family bonding.
5. Tour the Philippines and experience all the fiestas and festivals. starting with the following places (my top 10).
a) Club Noah Isabelle, Palawan
b) Baler, Quezon
c) Caramoan, Quezon
d) Hundred Islands & Bolinao Pangasinan
e) Puerto Galera, Mindoro
f) Camarines Sur
g) Catanduanes,
h) Albay (Mayon Volcano)
i) Benguet (Sagada & Mt. Pulag)
j) Turtle Island
6. Cruise Southeast Asia
7. Scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef
8. Go to Disneyland Hongkong on Aj's 7th Birthday
9. To have a very nice retirement home in Tagaytay (Overlooking taal) or Corregidor (seafront)
10. Renovate my parent's house

This is actually a prayer list for me. I really do hope to achieve this list!

Haaay! Minsan talaga ang sarap mangarap!